Conscious Choice-How To Take Control of Life
Oftentimes,we look at our lives and believe that we made a real choice because we had no other choice. Think back on your own life? When we were young, we continually adapted to situations in our home because, in our minds, we had no other choice. I had to become withdrawn to protect myself from the craziness in my home. I took that job because I had to earn a living...I wasn't happy with the job but I had other choice. My mate was intolerable so I left because I had no choice...I was saving my life. A storm destroyed my dream home. It is in ruins and so am I. The storm was beyond my control...there was choice involved at all. I want to be a better person but things keep happening in my life that I have no control over and I can't change.
Let me tell you a little story that I think helps to illustrate the notion that we are always at choice in our lives...in every single moment. My daughter is getting ready for her Bat Mitzvah. She has a tutor that she loves and makes great progress with him. But she also has to work with the Cantor at our synagogue as that is the person who is in charge of every Bat Mitzvah. Now, my daughter has decided that she doesn't like the way that the Cantor works with her. For whatever reasons ( after all, she is a teenager and it is hard to tell a teen what to do because they always know better),she has made that decision. She likes her tutor and she fights the time with the Cantor. She has chosen to be in a position of resistance and thereby she is depriving herself of much wisdom from the Cantor.
She feels she was given no choice in the matter. If it had been up to her, she would only work with her tutor. It's more fun. But tradition and necessity dictate that she must work with the Cantor. She sees no choice but there is one, much like there is the ability to make a conscious choice in every moment of everyday. Since she must work with the Cantor, she can consciously choose to take advantage of the Cantor's wisdom and be in an attitude of acceptance. She will then undoubtedly reap the benefits of the situation. So there is a real choice here...to fight reality and be miserable or to accept what it and reap many benefits.
We make unconscious choices all day long. We don't stop and think about the various situations that arise where we have the ability to see all the options involved. We end up doing things and making so-called choices on automatic pilot believing that we are making choices when in reality we are not.
If you have kids you find yourself making unconscious choices all day long. Let's call an unconscious choice what it really is...reactive behavior. The kids push our buttons and we react in anger when there was the ability to make a conscious choice. For one, walk away, cool down and then return to the scene and have a reasonable conversation. What I am trying to say is that there is a choice in every situation whether we are willing to admit it or not. Taking real control of our lives means accepting that we can make a true conscious choice in every moment of everyday.
Try it out. The next time you are the threshold of a decision...even a tiny one that may seem inconsequential, pause and determine what is available to you in terms of choice. Example: You have made a decision to watch your weight. Your co-horts at work and you are working on a big project and you are going out to lunch to discuss it. Everyone wants barbecue. You know that barbecue is not what you should be eating right now but the project is important and that is what the majority has decided. What do you do? You may feel you have no choice but to order barbecue but think of all the alternatives.
By beginning to see the choices available to you in all situations and making conscious decisions as to what what you will do, you begin empowering yourself in small ways that will ultimately grow into the ability to always truly choose and not let circumstances dictate what your life will look like. That's a conscious choice in itself...choose to be in control of life's circumstances or let life's circumstances control you. Your choice.
Let me tell you a little story that I think helps to illustrate the notion that we are always at choice in our lives...in every single moment. My daughter is getting ready for her Bat Mitzvah. She has a tutor that she loves and makes great progress with him. But she also has to work with the Cantor at our synagogue as that is the person who is in charge of every Bat Mitzvah. Now, my daughter has decided that she doesn't like the way that the Cantor works with her. For whatever reasons ( after all, she is a teenager and it is hard to tell a teen what to do because they always know better),she has made that decision. She likes her tutor and she fights the time with the Cantor. She has chosen to be in a position of resistance and thereby she is depriving herself of much wisdom from the Cantor.
She feels she was given no choice in the matter. If it had been up to her, she would only work with her tutor. It's more fun. But tradition and necessity dictate that she must work with the Cantor. She sees no choice but there is one, much like there is the ability to make a conscious choice in every moment of everyday. Since she must work with the Cantor, she can consciously choose to take advantage of the Cantor's wisdom and be in an attitude of acceptance. She will then undoubtedly reap the benefits of the situation. So there is a real choice here...to fight reality and be miserable or to accept what it and reap many benefits.
We make unconscious choices all day long. We don't stop and think about the various situations that arise where we have the ability to see all the options involved. We end up doing things and making so-called choices on automatic pilot believing that we are making choices when in reality we are not.
If you have kids you find yourself making unconscious choices all day long. Let's call an unconscious choice what it really is...reactive behavior. The kids push our buttons and we react in anger when there was the ability to make a conscious choice. For one, walk away, cool down and then return to the scene and have a reasonable conversation. What I am trying to say is that there is a choice in every situation whether we are willing to admit it or not. Taking real control of our lives means accepting that we can make a true conscious choice in every moment of everyday.
Try it out. The next time you are the threshold of a decision...even a tiny one that may seem inconsequential, pause and determine what is available to you in terms of choice. Example: You have made a decision to watch your weight. Your co-horts at work and you are working on a big project and you are going out to lunch to discuss it. Everyone wants barbecue. You know that barbecue is not what you should be eating right now but the project is important and that is what the majority has decided. What do you do? You may feel you have no choice but to order barbecue but think of all the alternatives.
By beginning to see the choices available to you in all situations and making conscious decisions as to what what you will do, you begin empowering yourself in small ways that will ultimately grow into the ability to always truly choose and not let circumstances dictate what your life will look like. That's a conscious choice in itself...choose to be in control of life's circumstances or let life's circumstances control you. Your choice.
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