On My 90th Birthday
A really interesting and revealing exercise we Life Coaches might do in the beginning of our professional relationship with a client is what I'll call Your 90th Birthday. I love this one, especially if you are over 40 years of age and starting to notice that time does not go on forever, because it really can put you face-to-face with what really matters to you.
Imagine you are 90 years old. Still sharp as a tack. Your loved ones, your family and friends and people whose lives you might have touched as well, are all gathered to pay tribute to you. One by one, a number of people come up to the podium to say a few words about you. One of your children speaks, a close friend, a colleague, whomever.
What do you want to hear them say about you? Really, you get to write the tributes. What do you want said about you? How do you want to be remembered? What do you want to leave behind?
So, I doubt you want to hear: He worked all the time and we barely saw him; he could have an explosive temper; he was a great golfer. Here's an example of what could be there for you:
At her 90th birthday, one of Maud's best friends got up and said: Maud of course was a gifted architect, a devoted mother and wife and friend to many. But what impresses me the most about Maud is her depth of feeling and commitment to others. In all her busy days, she has always made certain that everyone in her orbit was okay. She always checked in with her family and friends on a regular basis and asked the right questions in order to assure herself that all was well in the world. When she perceived that things were not, she would put down whatever she might be doing and give you her complete attention.
When Maud listened, you always knew you were heard on a deep level. Not many people give their time and attention to actually listening and I know for one that it makes me feel like I matter. That's something. Because of her amazing ability to hear others, she would always know what to do to lend a hand...whether herself or by steering you towards the right person.
And it is to her credit, that she has raised two marvelous kids who exhibit those same qualities. Adam is a Professor whose students flock to him. Sue has taken Maud's ability to listen and is now a top child advocate in our town. What more could a parent ask for then to have two wonderful children who are committed to helping others in their careers?
The best part is that as Maud has grown older, and even more wise, she has not lost her commitment to the welfare of others. We all still come to Maud for her empathy and caring. She still makes us feel that we matter. When she leaves us, she will be sorely missed. There will be hole in all of our lives. But in the meantime, here's to Maud. We need more Mauds in this world.
Resonate? As our kids like to say, "Now thats what I'm talking about!" Here's the deal though. If you take the time to write your 90th birthday salute, which I hope you do, then there's a catch. You actually might start understanding that to be remembered in certain ways, you need to 'be' a certain way. If you want to be remembered as a loving person...be loving. If you want to be remembered for what you contributed to the world, start contributing. Start living your future now.
Imagine you are 90 years old. Still sharp as a tack. Your loved ones, your family and friends and people whose lives you might have touched as well, are all gathered to pay tribute to you. One by one, a number of people come up to the podium to say a few words about you. One of your children speaks, a close friend, a colleague, whomever.
What do you want to hear them say about you? Really, you get to write the tributes. What do you want said about you? How do you want to be remembered? What do you want to leave behind?
So, I doubt you want to hear: He worked all the time and we barely saw him; he could have an explosive temper; he was a great golfer. Here's an example of what could be there for you:
At her 90th birthday, one of Maud's best friends got up and said: Maud of course was a gifted architect, a devoted mother and wife and friend to many. But what impresses me the most about Maud is her depth of feeling and commitment to others. In all her busy days, she has always made certain that everyone in her orbit was okay. She always checked in with her family and friends on a regular basis and asked the right questions in order to assure herself that all was well in the world. When she perceived that things were not, she would put down whatever she might be doing and give you her complete attention.
When Maud listened, you always knew you were heard on a deep level. Not many people give their time and attention to actually listening and I know for one that it makes me feel like I matter. That's something. Because of her amazing ability to hear others, she would always know what to do to lend a hand...whether herself or by steering you towards the right person.
And it is to her credit, that she has raised two marvelous kids who exhibit those same qualities. Adam is a Professor whose students flock to him. Sue has taken Maud's ability to listen and is now a top child advocate in our town. What more could a parent ask for then to have two wonderful children who are committed to helping others in their careers?
The best part is that as Maud has grown older, and even more wise, she has not lost her commitment to the welfare of others. We all still come to Maud for her empathy and caring. She still makes us feel that we matter. When she leaves us, she will be sorely missed. There will be hole in all of our lives. But in the meantime, here's to Maud. We need more Mauds in this world.
Resonate? As our kids like to say, "Now thats what I'm talking about!" Here's the deal though. If you take the time to write your 90th birthday salute, which I hope you do, then there's a catch. You actually might start understanding that to be remembered in certain ways, you need to 'be' a certain way. If you want to be remembered as a loving person...be loving. If you want to be remembered for what you contributed to the world, start contributing. Start living your future now.
The smile you give out will always come back to you. Keep up the good work, Shelley.
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