I look back on the year 2007 and am once again amazed at the amount of changes and transitions I have experienced.  This year saw the kids and I settle into a new home and town; my divorce was finalized and I began a new phase of life as a single woman (after 20 years of marriage, do I even remember how to be single?); my beloved Father passed away last summer and my practice as a Life Coach made the important and positive turn around the corner.  I thought 2006 was jammed packed with change and yet this year seems even moreso.  That's just the thing about life: It is constantly changing and stops for no one.  Much like the universe and all of its contents, change is the one constant.

I think most of us don't really appreciate that concept....that nothing stays the same and is in a constant state of change.  Our minds, our bodies, our circumstances and the world's circumstances are always in movement.  Just when you think you can catch your breath, something else happens.  The to-do list regenerates itself just when you think you have it under control. As you make the last repair or improvement in your home, something else breaks and needs fixing.
 
What about chaos?  We ask ourselves why things don't just settle down, run smoothly and stay the same for a change?!  Looking back on that last phrase I have to laugh at myself....'stay the same for change?'  Come on.  Get real.  Chaos is also the natural order of things.  If we think we have control over life we are in big trouble.  Life's circumstances will always be beyond our control.  S--t happens.  Once again, what we learn from experience is that the only thing we really have control over is ourselves and how we choose to handle life.

After yet another year of changes in my own life and invaluable experience gleaned from my clients, here are the life lessons I have been privileged to acquire:

-One of the most effective tools for being able to handle life more effectively is the ability to be fully aware of our actions and choices ( we are defined by the choices that we make). In other words, why we do things, especially in the moment they are happening.  To recognize that we are reacting to a stimulus that conjures up a gremlin from the past and continues to run the show is a huge, huge step forward.  Its when our buttons get pushed.

 What I've learned is that if we can slow down when we feel an adrenaline surge of that gremlin and recognize what is happening. We can actually not get sucked into reactive behaviors. If we can intercept the reaction, we will finally be in control of our lives because we are more in control of ourselves and how we handle life.  I read an interview with the actor Harvey Keitel where he said that if everyone practiced meditation, the residual benefit would be more awareness of ourselves in all the moments of our life and therefore more control. 

So , being more aware is something that I will continue to work on in 2008.  Creating more awareness can be achieved via the practice of meditation, chanting, deep breathing, self-hypnosis, exercise and yoga.

- Another thing I've noticed is the sensitivity gremlin.  So many of us send ourselves in downward spirals when we mistakenly think that its all about us.  I've heard it said that people are just not thinking about us as much as we think they are.  We always seem to add meaning to what others say to make ourselves question ourselves and our worth.  If I mention to one of my kids that they are not being conscientious about their homework it becomes an indictment of who and what they are.  Not true of course, they are just not doing the homework.  Get it? 

So, I resolve to watch myself and understand that its mostly just mind chatter on my part that makes me question my self worth.  Its the chatter that need attention and not everybody else.  Oh and by the way, the aforementioned awareness is the way to stop mind chatter...just be aware of it when it is happening.

- Guess what?  The experts are all right when they say that getting enough sleep, eating well and exercise are necessary.  I find that if I am feeling low, unmotivated, tired, surly and out of kilter, I can probably look to all the things I've mentioned and something will be amiss.  It takes more awareness on my part when my body and mind start calling out for help.

So I resolve to be more aware of how I am feeling so that I can get myself back on track ASAP.

- Feeling sorry for ourselves is normal if it isn't a constant state of being.  What I learned this year is the scientific evidence behind the practice of gratitude.  Being a grateful person has been shown to improve your health, your outlook on life, your level of optimism, your ability to empathize with others and therefore the quality of your   relationships, your motivation, your energy...basically your entire life.

So this year I will practice the art of gratitude via daily affirmations, charitable works and journaling.

- While we are practicing things, I am more aware of the gifts of patience.  It just lends life a more calm and serene feel.  It isn't easy but what it does for us is beyond measure.  Realizing that things will come to us in their own good time and that we have no control over time or other people is crucial to living a good life.  The classic example of course is being in a traffic jam.  Getting ruffled, fuming and losing it does not move the traffic.  It does reek havoc on our body and mind. not to mention what it does to anyone in our line of fire!

So I resolved to practice the art of patience  this coming year.

- Tied up in the concept of patience is the subject of expectations.  Oh Lord. have I learned tons about expectations this year. The more I expect things to work out in a certain way the more I open myself to resentment and disappointment.  It is just setting yourself up for misery. 

So I resolve to keep tabs on my expectations of myself, of others and of life in general.

- Have you noticed that in each of my resolutions I simply state that I resolve to try to be more of this or practice the art of that ? I never state I will exercise everyday for one hour...what I do say for example is that I will be more attuned to my body and do the things that are called for for my well-being.  Its all about taking small steps and not setting myself up.  Small steps lead to more empowerment each time I succeed.

-Lastly, 2008 is a very big year for this country. No matter our political persuasion, there is little doubt that our country and the world for that matter,  is at a critical crossroads.  Given war, global warming, poverty, healthcare, the sub-prime mortgage debacle and the economy and the state of our country's reputation and standing in the world, it is imperative for all  of us to be as involved as we can in the political process of the presidential election of 2008.  The changes that we need to make are massive and they will take participation from all of us on some level.

I want to wish everyone a year of positive and lasting changes, of health and happiness and of meaning and fulfillment in life.
Shelley